The break up

Ok, i swear this is not going to turn out to be the most depressing blog ever. I really don't need to be talked in from the ledge, I promise. I just told myself would be honest with how I am feeling that day. And today, I'm just kinda sad. Not like I wish I still worked there sad because that is one thing I am over. Had a discussion yesterday with a good friend about if I'd ever go back (not like anyone would ever be knocking at the door) and can say 100% no. My job was so interactive. I was either in a face to face meeting, on the phone, grabbing lunch or coffee (usually both every single day). To nothing. I used to swear that I was going to throw my BlackBerry into oncoming traffic. Now I jump when the phone rings. I actually left the house for 3 hours the other day and didn't even realize that I didn't have my phone. wtf. what has happened?

I should be enjoying the silence. I should be really concentrating on a job search. I should be cleaning out our basement (but I am not doing that bc I am scared of all the gigantic crickets that live down there). It's just weird how you are so caught up in the fast paced day to day and nothing. It's the like the whole world keeps moving and you are standing still. It also kind of sucks that things just sort of keep running without you. Not that I was the sole person keeping things a float by any means, but I feel like their should be a day of mourning. But nope, everyone just picks up where they left off the day before and keeps going. I don't blame them, I'd be doing the same thing. It just kind of sucks to watch it from the outside the fishbowl.

One of my friends summed this up best. "It's like when you break up with someone". Huh. She continues "You know in the beginning you are really sad and cry a lot. Then you contemplate wanting them back. Then you just get pissed. And then you want to get revenge. So you sleep with someone to make it hurt them". Ok, so all of those things are true. But for that last one, I think my 'revenge' will be finding a great new job.

Thank you to Karen O today for my song o' the day: Zero by Yeah Yeah Yeahs.