Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to NJ, of course.

On the eve of my final night in NYC, I wanted to give an update. Not really on what I've been doing, that would take too long. Mostly about how much the state of NJ has earned it name as the Armpit of the Earth. Really an armit is a pretty nice body part for NJ....they would be lucky to be an armpit. They are more like...well, let's leave it at a downgrade from an armpit. Much to most of your disappointment, I did not see Snooki or The Situation while in NJ. We did go to few malls where we did see many of their siblings and in some cases twins. NJ is horrible. It's dirty, none of the highways or streets make any sense at all, and it's just an all around dump. Junction City, KS would be thanking NJ if they could. NJ stole the title of armpit by a landslide vote. And if you've ever been to JC, you know this is an achievement.

One day we had to find an Army Navy surplus store to get some stuff for our guerilla marketing stuff. We pulled up to this 'house' that was an old gross building, a plastic tarp in the middle, and an 'apartment' made of plywood on the side. It stated that the hours were from 9-3, but not for sure so you needed to ring the buzzer. Along with about 15 other misspelled signs in red marker on the side of the building. I was nominated to do this and when I did a gaggle of chickens and birds started going bezerk. I mean, they were losing their shit. We couldn't see them yet, but knew this was about to get interesting.

So, out of the side plywood apartment comes a woman (we think) with the keys to let us in. We still aren't sure about the chickens as I suggested that maybe it was one of those alarms like when you have a fake dog barking. As soon as she opened the door, the stench of chicken poop knocked us down the stairs and we knew this was no burgler trap. We walked down this moldy hallway that was, not even kidding, about 3 feet wide. There was crap hanging from the walls and ceiling. The left side was the tarp where the birds live, but we still could not see them. They were going totally apeshit....and we gathered there were upwards of 20. They were totally pissed that we were there, so I was thankful for the tarp. As you know, chickens have large talons...so the thicker the tarp the better. They also had no heat in this store so it was colder than outside. Which was probably for the best bc it kept the stench down a little. The smell we later tagged as moldy, cat pee, chicken poop, and asbetos if that has a smell. It was horrid. We couldn't even breathe. Come to find out in addition to their thriving military store, they had a bird and cat rescue. Which really doesn't seem like a good combo. I think they also had a spider rescue bc I have never seen so many spider webs that were so thick.

Needless to say we grabbed what we needed and bolted. The chicken lady thanked us for the business and she was actually pretty nice. Our coats smell like their fowl and feline friends for a good 4 hours. It was the craziest place I've ever stepped foot in. And yet another reason to chalk up points for NJ being ga-ross.
We've had some good times in NYC, so that almost made up for the time we had to spend in NJ. I said almost.

Off to Chicago tomorrow. Missing my Valentine's at home. Can't wait to see them on Friday. Hopefully this is the last our chicken coop adventures in our travels. NJ, please keep your Snooki's and your chickens to yourself. I've had enough of you. Fogettaboughdit.